Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Time to face the music!

Well, this is it.  The shutdown is over and drilling for Reservists has resumed.  Our October UTA got rescheduled for later in the fiscal year, but this weekend is the November UTA and my rescheduled PT test.  At this point, most of my anxiety about the task is gone.  I just want to get it over with already.  I've made peace with the fact that there's nothing I can do this week, in terms of physical fitness preparation, that will make me perform better on Saturday.  All I can do is show up, breath, and push my body to the limit to do my very best.  I intend to do the smart thing and get a good night's sleep on Friday, as well as hydrating all day, but that's it.  

This is far from the "Aim High" attitude I like to shoot for, but it's my reality right now.  I have so many outside stressors right now that I can't let this become one of them.  It's time to just let it go.  Thank you for all of the positive thoughts and energy you can send my way!  

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Postpartum PT Anxiety

How appropriate that this article should hit the Air Force Times and my Facebook feed, a mere seventeen days before my own postpartum PT test!

In a nutshell, SSgt Alison Mona had failed two PT tests postpartum and worried that she would potentially be discharged from the Air Force, chose to have her roommate stab her in the stomach so she could go to the hospital for "attack wounds" instead of take her test.  Whoa.

Folks, I'm as nervous as the next new mom, but having DH stab me so I can get on a new profile and avoid testing is far from my fitness plan!  This article has opened up some good discussions about postpartum PT, both critical and supportive.  There are some that assert that there should be no modifications to the PT standards for postpartum women, and that they should still be expected to test six months after birthing, as they knew the expectations of being fit in the military.  Fair enough.  I'm pretty sure I felt this way too, as a judgmental non-mom.  But that's not my frame of reference anymore.

As a new mom, it makes sense to me now.  As a mother who chooses to breastfeed (for at least a year), it is abundantly clear to me.  Prior to getting pregnant, I was in excellent physical shape.  I had been eating clean, working out, and running six days a week.  I poured my efforts into preparing for that first PT test and came out with a score of 96.5.  Even during my pregnancy, I was going to the gym at least once a week and running into my 28th week of gestation.  Motherhood throws a monkey wrench into those plans though.  My lifestyle is dramatically different, now that it's about more than just me.  To maintain a sufficient supply of milk, you have to increase your caloric intake, yet in order to lose weight you need to decrease those calories.  Breastfeeding does burn calories in the process, but nothing dramatic in my case.  My child comes first, period.  I want her to be healthy and receive the best nutrition possible, and I have decided to do that through breastfeeding for an extended period of time.

I didn't feel like I even had time to work out until DD was maybe four months old, and even then, my options are limited when I need to be in close proximity to feed her.  Could I have someone give her a bottle while I work out?  Sure, but I'd also have to pump, so it doesn't make a lot of sense to be away from her for too long.  I haven't been back to the gym since I've given birth.  Instead, I try to sneak in a couple pushups and sit-ups when I get the chance, or go for a mile and a half jaunt around the neighborhood while my FIL watches her.  It's not a lot, but it's the best I can do right now.  Anyone with a young child can tell you that you're not always able to plunk them down and keep them occupied long enough to do a workout video, nor can you ignore all of those other chores that need to get done during nap time.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and make some assumptions based on limited knowledge and experience, so go easy on me.  As a Reservist, I'm held to the same PT standards and timeframe as an Active Duty mom.  The catch is that the responsibility of fitness falls solely on me.  My civilian job doesn't value fitness and build it into my day.  If I were AD, there might be opportunities for me to participate in daily PT as part of my job, but I'm not.  I have to put in my full day of work to come home, make dinner, bathe and put my child to bed, and then hope to have some time to myself (when I'm not doing chores).

Fortunately, I'm in fairly decent shape, and while I'm a far cry from the fit, pre-baby Airman I once was, I might be able to pull this off.  I want to, I have to, I need to.  I need to remain eligible for my OTS package.  That's my big motivator these days.  At this point, I wouldn't be disappointed to get less than a 90 and have to PT again in six months.  That's doable.  But I just need to pass.  I'm not willing to go to drastic lengths to avoid this test, but I'm nervous.  As a postpartum mom, I can feel the desperation in the story of SSgt Mona.  I assume she's a single mother, willing to do anything to protect her living and provide for her children.  I can respect that and I can relate to that.  Hopefully this story, as sensational as it is, opens up a discussion as to whether women should be expected to uphold the same physical standards after having a baby.  Is "Nine Months On, Six Months Off" realistic?  Food for thought!