Sunday, December 19, 2010

#reverb10 Day 19 - Healing

What healed you this year?  Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution?  How would you like to be healed in 2011? - Leonie Allan

Part of me wants to cue some Marvin Gaye "Sexual Healing" right now, but I'll refrain from singing to you.  ;)  I haven't healed completely, but I am slowly healing from the hurt I've experienced in my family.  I mentioned on here before how my brother and I have a strained relationship.  It's brought me tears, heartache, and it's made me feel like a complete stranger at times.  It's hard knowing that we used to be so close and then something happened - something that I can't explain or understand.  I feel like DH has more in common with him than I do at times.  Last weekend I had a healing conversation with my brother.  We were able to talk, and (as DH suggested) I made more of an attempt at conversation, so it was beyond the small talk that has plagued us recently.  I think it went well, and he even said "I love you" back after I said it first (I always say it first).  I made sure to let him know that I needed his address so we could send him care packages when he deploys soon.  It's a long, slow process of healing between my brother and I.  It's especially difficult when you don't know what you're trying to fix.  

In 2011, I would like to be healed financially, imagine that!  I know I talk a lot about money on here, and I think everyone knows how it takes its toll on a family.  It's been humbling, it's been rough, and it's been a good "self-check" for me, but I'm ready to move toward greater stability so we can start accomplishing our goals, such as homeownership.

1 comment:

Adrie Kovic said...

I really feel for you because my brother and I don't have a relationship at all...were just too different I guess :/