Saturday, November 6, 2010

Day 28 - What if you were pregnant, what would you do?

Probably start crying and thank my lucky stars that we finally were successful.  I've been off birth control since October of 2007 and we have yet to make anything happen.  He's always gone and when he is here, the timing is off.  Even now that we've been together for longer than two weeks, nothing's worked.  I was on Clomid when I was out at Bragg, but we only tried it for a little stint.  Although they put me on it [Clomid], I never really felt like I got a good answer to the question, "Is everything okay with my lady parts?"

I didn't want to be a young mother, but I didn't want to wait forever either.  My mom had me at 31 and my brother at 33, and she never lived to see him graduate from high school.  Granted, her cancer isn't genetic, but still.  My own mortality has always been on my mind.  DH is a older as well (he's 40) and we don't want to wait too long to start our family.

Please, don't pipe in about timing, God's plan, stress, etc, even if you mean well.  I've heard it all before, I'm aware of the reasons people like to give.  It sucks, bottom line.  I know there's others that have it worse than me, but it still sucks.  That aside, I know it's not the best time for us anyway, as we're trying to get settled financially and we'd love to buy our home before we bring any babies along into the mix.  The bummer of having a baby here in Colorado as a teacher in my district is there's no short-term disability to cover you while you're out, so you're basically screwed financially while you're recovering from childbirth.  That's definitely something we need to prepare for!


Lacey said...

I dont want to pipe in so i wont, and i didn't want to i just want to say yay for living in Colorado! colorful Colorado!

Erin said...

Thanks hon! It's beautiful here!